We’re not waiting for Thursday. I once had a spot somewhere on blogspot where I vented way too many emotions online, as one does in her early twenties. My early twenties, as opposed to my tame teens, were the most rollercoaster-ish years of my life in the realm of circumstance (then…little did I know) and ultimately also somewhat of a renaissance for me Spiritually. However, note that I botched up the Bible reading about Adam and Eve here at my friend’s wedding, too long a story to explain why here, just know that somewhere at the end it was an epic fail LOL. The title of this post is not based on this picture…but on my archived blog post from way back below.
Even if you don’t feel the least bit spiritual, whatever, keep reading. A post was supposed to go up about the Oscars red carpet style lineup, but because of where I’m currently at in life I didn’t feel like collecting material for it yesterday. Hardly any of it interested me thanks to the fact that I’m currently bound to real life things that need doing this week ’til next week. Real life responsibilities are taxing on the mind (literally). No worries, will still find a way to blog beauty daily or at least post SOMETHING daily but they’ll be shorter posts if I’m way too busy. This space was certainly made for a much needed calm before the plunge. I’ll be 33 this year, soon. Fancy reading a little bit of 23-year old me? Then proceed. I was just in a moment earlier where I very much needed to consult me from 10 years ago, because right at that time my heart was on the right track.
Monday, March 06, 2006 , 9:40am
The Teacher of Trust
I often wonder why it is that daily, as we all mature, things we want, big or small, or even situations and problems in our lives become harder to lift up to God, and the more difficult part even is leaving it there with Him, trusting Him with ALL of it. It sounds simple lang pero lam naman natin na it doesn’t feel simple for us. We’re reminded repeatedly, at least those of us who believe in God’s will for every good and perfect thing to come to pass. Yet, I still fear or agonize over the unknown. What do I do when I know how I should be, but deep inside my spirit is still restless?
I used to feel guilty about saying I trust Him then still having that feeling inside that I don’t. I’d suddenly remember the words “come as you are” from many Christian songs and I’d break down lots of times knowing I have no choice but to come before God with my doubt, with my fear and whatever it is I want Him to take or trust Him for. I can only run to Him knowing that no matter how dirty I am He’ll still embrace me…and even kiss me for coming to Him for answers and comfort.
A lot of people read Jeremiah 29:11. The familiar lines of this verse have comforted many through centuries. Recently, I found that reading the passage through all the way to verse 13 brings even more comfort than one expects to find in verse 11. For any of us who are searching and learning to trust, we can read and rest in His words.
“‘For I know the plans that I have for you’ declares the Lord, ‘plans for welfare and not for calamity to give you a future and a hope. Then you will call upon Me and come and pray to Me, and I will listen to you.
‘And you will seek Me and find Me, when you search for Me with all your heart.”